So, I need some ideas from all of you mothers out there. I like asking for ideas because I usually combine everything to come up with my own strategy. I did this a year + ago on my blog and it seemed to help.
So, here is my situation. Taylor is refusing to sleep in his own bed, his own bedroom, by himself. Now for a little history. We established from day 1 that Taylor sleeps in his own bed, own bedroom. The day we brought him home from the hospital, he was sleeping in his own room, most of the time (unless he and I fell asleep in my bed while I was nursing him, but he always went back to his bed). He would only sleep in his own bed. Going out of town or to hotels was a nightmare because he only wanted his bed. Some nights Sterling and I tried to get him to have "sleep overs" in our bed for fun, and it just never worked. Well, now, he'll only sleep in our bed. While we were in Utah, Taylor decided he didn't want to sleep in his pack and play at my mom's because he was getting too big for it. While Sterling went to Costa Rica, I got him to sleep with me...and I know this is where it all started.
Taylor has always been on a great sleeping schedule. His night time routine has been a mother's dream. Some nights he would ask to go to sleep. Now, I dream for those days again. We've tried letting him sleep in his crib and just climbing out when he's ready to wake up. That didn't work. Then, we moved him to a twin-size bed, that hasn't worked. Then, we transitioned his crib into a toddler bed. That isn't working. Our night time routine consists of Sterling laying down with him in his bed until he falls asleep. Then, within a few hours, Taylor is back in bed with us. He falls asleep great in the car. He rarely gets a nap. He gets so exhausted that it's hard for him to get to sleep at night. I am a huge fan of a good sleeping schedule. I believe children behave so much better when they get good sleep. I like having a good schedule, with my child going to bed at the same time each night.
I've been doing some research on the internet today and have realized this is a very common thing for 2-year olds. I realize some of you have been through my pain. I would love your comments to create my own system. So, with all this being said, I NEED SOME IDEAS, or confirmation that I'm not alone ;-).
10 comments:
Well first off you are DEFINATLY not alone :) McKayla also went through this a couple months back. She started climbing out of her bed so we decided it was time for a big girl bed, but as soon as we did that she'd come strolling out of her room at all hours of the night whenever she wanted. Nothing phased her so we put one of those plastic knobs on the inside of the door so she couldn't open the door whenever she wanted. She cried the first couple of days but before we knew it she was back to her normal sleeping schedule and all was peaceful in our house again :) GOOD LUCK!!
Oh dear! Sleeping has been the biggest issue in our house, at least with the girls. When we transitioned Ellie into a freind told me the "Supper Nanny" strategy. We would sit next to her bed facing the opposite direction, so she had the comfort of someone being there' but not doing anything for her. If she got out of bed we would give her a kiss, say nothing and tuck her back in bed. We would also move a foot further away each night until we were out the door. It seemed like it took forever. I have very vivid memories of laying on her floor hugely pregnant praying that she would fall asleep. We did it with Abbie too and it worked, however they still wake up during the night occasionally. I think they have both inherited Darrell's insomnia. Good luck!
Mason had a problem staying in his bed when we first moved him to his twin bed. Good news--none of our other boys had that problem so there is hope. I think it was because they had a sibling sleeping in the same room so they weren't alone.
What I decided to do with Mason was to sit outside Mason's bedroom door and when he opened it I would put him back in bed. The door wouldn't latch all the way (don't buy a home built by Trend homes!)which was SO frustrating so really I didn't have the really great option to use a child lock on the door knob (great idea CandraWynne!). I'm not saying it was the perfect thing to do but it was something and eventually he did stay in bed by himself.
Another idea I just thought of, use pictures to explain what needs to happen at night. Andrew at that age loved the maps I drew of what we would be doing like on Dora the Explorer--I think it helped him know what to expect. You could draw a map of Taylor's bedtime routine and include the next morning when he wakes up in his own bed with his blanket or stuffed animal or whatever helps him sleep. You could draw him coming to find you and give you a kiss good morning so he knows he'll be able to see you in the morning. Wow, I'm excited about that idea--maybe I'll try it with Luke even if he doesn't have that problem.
We kind of used Misty's method as well. We've done this FIVE times, so just so you know, it doesn't (unfortunatly)easier to do what we have to do for our kiddos! We would pick up the child (who usually climbed in bed with us) and simply take them back to bed. The first time, you can say "goodnight, it's time for bed" and kiss them, and put them back in their bed. Then each time after that, you have to silently and calmly take them back to bed. It can happen a dozen times in a night . . . . but within 3 days, it will all be well. I have to admit, the being "calm" part gets hard the 6th time in 15th minutes you've taken them back to their bed. But eventually - since you don't speak - they simply go to sleep. GOOD LUCK!!!
Sounds like you have some great suggestions so far. We have major sleep problems at our house with Porter, but that is obviously a different situation! I've heard of people putting a blanket and pillow under or by their bed for when the kids come in during the middle of the night...the kids get out the blanket and sleep on the floor next to the bed. I don't know if that is even an option for you, but it was a little different than all the other suggestions you have been given. Good luck!
We started letting Owen take a car or two to bed with him (or Tigger sometimes) and that seems to help him. If he gets out of bed, he has to give the toy back to us and go back to bed. Usually we will let him get out once without taking the car away. He really has done pretty good with this.
I don't have any suggestions, but how about some sympathy because I'll be there soon too. I hope you can get it worked out so both of you are happy! :)
Steph, oh ya I have been there and find myself there still on some nights. Isaac was by far my hardest one to get to sleep and still is. I did the same thing as Misty did, with the Super Nanny advice. However, when I did it there was no Super Nanny I got it from a book called Healthy Sleep Habits Happy child or something like that. It really worked and still does. Isaac still has a hard time sleeping if we are on vacation or he is somewhere other then his own bed.
Good Luck! ;-)
Sophie slept in our bed for a long time. She had trouble sleeping in her own bed because our babies were waking up so often at night. So it worked for us to have her in bed with us.
I didn't mind. She slept better, I slept better. We were able to care for the babies at night without worrying about waking up Soph.
Believe me, having a kid in bed next to you doesn't change the husband-wife relationship :) The kid doesn't wake up.
But there came a point when it stopped working for us. Sophie was taking up too much room. She was waking up too early when I got up in the morning. She convinced herself that she was scared to sleep in her own bed. That last reason was probably the catalyst for us getting her back in her own bed; I didn't want her to be scared of it.
So over a few weeks' time, we prepared her for the transition back to her own bed. We talked about the night she would sleep in her own bed. We got her a night light. She picked out a prize she would get for sleeping on her own bed (a Barbie styling head). She practiced laying on her bed at night while I nursed the babies before bed.
Then the big night came and she did great! It really gave her a lot of confidence, too, to overcome that obstacle.
My point is that if it works for Taylor to be in your bed, go with that! No kid was ruined from sleeping in his parents bed/bedroom. In fact, Americans are weird when compared to the rest of the world, where kids sleep in their parents' bed from birth until they are several years old. However kids and parents get the most sleep, that's what's best.
Like you, I'm also a big advocate of sleep schedules and predictability. I think that kids really like to see what's ahead and know what to expect. Susanne's idea of using pictures or drawing a map (like on Dora) works wonders for kids.
I think having at least a "rest time" during the day helps kids fall asleep at night, so they don't get over tired. For a while, I expected Sophie to stay on her bed at "rest time" for 30 minutes (changed to 40 minutes so I could finish an episode of "Buffy"), and if she didn't fall asleep she could come out.
Or you could get a crib tent. That would definitely keep him in his crib at night. He would certainly not fall out and break his clavicle. :)
One more thought, that consistency, limits, and expectations when it's not bedtime will do wonders with expecting him to accept limits at bedtime. Love and Logic, baby!
Oh Steph! I have enjoyed your discussion board so much--for my own sake. Everything I would have said or recomened has been said, but the last ladies comments I enjoyed the most. Just because it sort of fits my situation almost exactly. There is a book I really enjoy called Solve Your Childs Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber. It talks about every sleeping problem under the sun for children.
Any way thanks for the discussion board. it sure has helped me:)
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